Ode.

Over the mountains and the sea...

...Your river runs with love for me;

And I will open up my heart...

...and let the Healer set me free.

Dear Anonymous,

First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to drop by my blog, more so to go through my previous posts and leave a comment =) I must apologise for such a late reply to your query, as I don't normally go through my own previous posts myself. Call it vanity if you like (or maybe even divine guidance, heh heh), I so happened to go through the post on the Sacrament of Reconciliation just only recently - after a friend and I were discussing about it - and caught a glimpse of your comment which went:

Confess ur sins to other person? And then that "other persons" confess to other persons? There will be a chain of Confessed Sins man. Confess is good thing but, what action that u need to do after u confess. Make sins---> confess----> make sins again --->confess. Priest is also human, make mistakes, make sins, so who is the noble, better person need to confess to?

**********

Let me dissect your comment to enable more effective tackling, so to speak:

Confess ur sins to other person? And then that "other persons" confess to other persons? There will be a chain of Confessed Sins man.

Regarding the "chain of Confessed Sins", there won't even be a chain per se at all, as when one confesses his/her sins to another person (by which I take it you mean the priest), it remains with the priest alone:

"...the confidentiality of all statements made by penitents during the course of confession is absolute. This strict confidentiality is known as the "Seal of the Confessional." According to the Code of Canon Law, 983 §1, "The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner and for any reason." Priests may not reveal what they have learned during confession to anyone, even under the threat of their own death or that of others...For a priest to break that confidentiality would lead to an latae sententiae (automatic) excommunication reserved to the Holy See (Code of Canon Law, 1388 §1)..."
-- Confession - Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia

Priests themselves go for confession as well, not to confess what has been confessed to them, but to confess their personal sins.

**********

Confess is good thing but, what action that u need to do after u confess. Make sins---> confess----> make sins again --->confess.

I do agree with you, that the action taken after confession is truly the important thing; for one to truly partake of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, one would have to be:
a) truly repentant of his/her sins
b) determined to avoid this sin in the future
c) willing to make reparations as appropriate with any/all injured parties
(reference: www.scborromeo.org)

A friend once gave me this analogy: if you're sick and down with flu, you go to see a doctor to get treatment, right? What happens say 2 months later when you get sick and are struck with flu again? You go to see the doctor again. And say 4 months later you get sick and are struck with flu again? You go to see the doctor again.

**For those of you who believe in home-treatment for flu, replace the word "flu" with "a lung infection".

I guess you could say the same thing for confession. It's only natural and human for one to fall repeatedly, but it's also natural for one to do his/her utmost not to repeat a particular sin after having confessed it, as I believe there's a particular bondage one has to his/her words once uttered. It's similar to marriage; initially after saying "I do" (rather emphatically, I must add), there's the euphoria of love and you feel like you'd do anything for your spouse. Then after a while of waking up and having to see the same face (no Naughty Insinuations here) everyday for like 5 years, marriage loses its thrill (again, no Naughty Insinuations here), though deep inside you still love your spouse. And so, to rekindle that "fire", you'd go for Marriage Encounter weekends away, or stuff of that sort. Similarly with confession, initially after saying "I'm sorry", there's the euphoria of having been forgiven, and you'd do anything NOT to sin. Then after a while, being human, you lose the sense of euphoria and the temptation to sin starts to grow; if it gets the better of you, you repeat the sin. But believe me, it doesn't feel good at all repeating a sin after having confessed it before - although at the time it may feel like the greatest thing in the world - as the sense of guilt that washes over you is immense. Knowing that God still loves you and will forgive you again offers consolation, yes, but also knowing that you've taken His forgiveness forgranted pains deeply.

**On a side note, I'd like to apply the "doctor" analogy to the part about there being a "chain of Confessed Sins" (i.e. I confess to you, you confess to him, he confesses to him, etc.) - a doctor, with say, colon cancer, can't really treat himself now, can he? He's ultimately got to go to another doctor to get effective treatment, don't you think?

**********

Priest is also human, make mistakes, make sins, so who is the noble, better person need to confess to?

Well, I think you've got to change your perception of confession, as the idea of confession isn't to confess sins to a priest per se, but rather to God:

"...no priest, as an individual man, however pious or learned, has power to forgive sins. This power belongs to God alone; however, God can and does exercise it through the Catholic priesthood..."
-- Confession - Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia

So, the un-noblest, worst, rascal-iest, most scandalous and corrupt priest in the world could hear your confession and give you an absolution, and your sins would still be absolved, as it is to God (the noblest, best, unrascal-iest, unscandalous, and uncorrupt being) that you ultimately confess your sins to, though only through a priest - I cannot emphasise that enough. Alan Schreck, in his book Catholic Christian gives 3 reasons for the existence of a "middle man" in confession (reference made known by Celestine Tan):

1) It is another aspect of God's "incarnational" (i.e. God became man - Jesus) way of relating to mankind; using human beings to continue His work on Earth is part of the way God works. When sins are forgiven by one who has been set apart by the Church to represent Jesus Christ, we can experience the mercy of Jesus Himself through that person.

2) Confessing sins to a person reminds one of the social dimension of sin. When someone sins, he not only offends God, but his sin also has an effect, either direct or indirect on other people. The priest who grants God's forgiveness not only represents Jesus Christ, but also the whole Christian community, the church. Hence the priest has the authority to reconcile a sinner to the body of Christ, the church.

3) The priest or minister is often able to counsel and encourage the penitent, or even pray with the penitent for healing of some area of sin or brokenness in the person's life. Jesus often uses His representative - the priest - to minister to the need of people in remarkable ways through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

**********

I hope whatever was shared helped to clarify any misconceptions about the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I would take it very kindly though, if you would leave your name, or At The Very Least a pseudonym, as leaving comments behind anonymously is very unchivalrous (and cowardly, I might add - not having the courage to stand behind one's stated opinion) an act; I am of the sincere belief that everyone has the right to state their opinions (although those opinions must be of reasonable validity, are logical derivatives and are constructive by nature).

Mat Rock-er

"I Am Mat Rock-er!"
-- courtesy of Ben Tan.

CKK Masquerade Ball 2005

Pig mask : RM 9.95
Monkey mask : RM 9.95
Pig & Monkey pose : Priceless

With this year's theme of Unmasking The Phantoms, these phantoms decided to mask themselves anyway.

Sepet.

The only locally-produced (and critically-acclaimed) movie I've cared to watch thus far (if only to see whether it was worth critics' dua sen) and I found it to be interestingly light, humourous, romantic and sad all at the same time - well worth critics' dua sen.

While most of the actors looked as if they had been doing drugs the night before and were therefore stoning throughout the movie, I felt Sepet gave a refreshing outtake of Malaysian life - VCD peddling, inter-racial/religious romance, pre-marital sex, pregnancy and abortion, loan shark-ing, and the indiscriminate giving of scholarships among many others. Kudos to director Yasmin Ahmad for managing to capture just that!

**Although sadly, there was the impression that abortion is the way out of a "mistake" in the past...the issue could have been addressed in a better way.**

Memorable quotes from Sepet:











"You know what you are? You're the biggest wanker in the whole town of Ipoh!"
-- Orked to a male friend who was taunting her.

"Milf? Apa tu milf, bah?"
-- Orked, when playing Scrabble with her dad; after his turn.












"Hang Li Po, Hang Tuah, Hang Jebat, Hang Chee B**, all the same lah."
-- Ah Keong discussing the origin of Babas with Ah Loong.

"Malay girls with wet sarongs - wah lau eh."
-- Ah Keong discussing the origin of Babas with Ah Loong.

**Note the similar overtones**

**********

Hmm, I could use a few of those...

The Commonly Confused Words Test

I was browsing through the net on a quiet and boring Sunday night (like all other Sunday nights) after the Wimbledon final, when I came across :

THE COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS TEST.

Wow.

It's not just any test; it's a WORDS test.

It's not just any words test; it's a COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS test.

And it's not just any commonly confused words test; it's THE COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS test.

I scored as follows :-

English Genius You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 86% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: shortredhead78.blogspot.com.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 74% on Beginner You scored higher than 63% on Intermediate You scored higher than 88% on Advanced You scored higher than 86% on Expert

The Commonly Confused Words Test, written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

**********

Don't mean to be a smart-ass, but the author does seem to have made a COMMONLY CONFUSED Kata Penguat error with the phrase "You did so extremely well...". Not sure if it was done intentionally in good humour (bad, I mean), or by accident.

Or if it was just a COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS error.

Do point it out to me if I'm mistaken.

And prepare to suffer the consequences.

Me, smoke? Well, if smoked salmon counts...

After my (obviously lame) attempt at being sarcastic and funny (haha.) in my last post, tons of questions which implied the same thing poured in from my fans (alright, just three, but three's a ton, right?) :

nwy,do u really meant wat u wrote?! u said u smoke?

hey..i was browsing through ur blog..ermm..u said smt abt smoking.. u smoke?? dun mind me asking??

you smoke one ah???hehheehehehe :P

Well, let me clarify:

I don't smoke.

I never did.

I don't plan to.

Smoking for cool's sake, I believe, only serves to emphasise the un-coolness of a person; highlighting the fact that he doesn't have the courage to decide what's cool for himself and thus follows what has been defined as "cool" by the media (think a couple of cool people chilling on green grassy hills; a cool guy kayaking in the middle of an ocean in the middle of nowhere; some cool guys skiing on snowy mountains, doing cool routines for the camera; some cool cowboys riding horses through rivers in the countryside; a cool guy driving a black Porsche, etc.)

The irony of it all is that 2 Marlboro men (men who starred in advertisements for Marlboro cigarettes) have since died of lung-cancer:

Wayne McLaren, who posed for some promotional photographs on behalf of Marlboro in 1976, succumbed to lung cancer at age 51 on 22 July 1992. McLaren was a former professional rodeo rider who appeared in small parts in various television series and movies (primarily Westerns) throughout the 1960s and 1970s, and he modeled for print advertising between acting jobs in the mid-1970s including a Marlboro campaign in 1976. McLaren, who had a pack-and-a-half a day smoking habit, was diagnosed with lung cancer at age 49. Despite chemotherapy, the removal of one lung, and radiation treatments, the cancer eventually spread to his brain and killed him.

David McLean, who appeared in many Marlboro television and print advertisements starting in the early 1960s, also died of cancer at age 73 on 12 October 1995. McLean starred in the short-lived 1960 television Western Tate, and he played roles in numerous television series and feature films during the 1960s and 1970s. McLean took up smoking at age 12, began to suffer from emphysema in 1985, and had a cancerous tumor removed from his right lung in 1993. Despite the surgery, the cancer remained and spread to his brain and spine, and McLean succumbed in 1995.

**Extracted from Urban Legends Reference Pages**

Really want to be cool?

Get to know Jesus.

Wait, that means I'm cool.

Lessons In Life. And More.

Now that I've more or less officially ended my secondary level education with the completion of my final A-Levels' paper and have virtually FOREVER before pursuing my next course of education, here are a couple of things I've come to realise over the past year and a half in no particular order:

1. My exams are screwed.

2. My exams are so screwed that I've begun to question the meaning of life itself and my very existence.

3. Not.

4. They're just plain screwed.

5. I'm smarter than I look.

6. I'm actually quite smart.

7. When I do my homework.

8. If I do my homework.

9. Certain people among Taylor's College's staff can be pretty unreasonable.

10. Certain people among Taylor's College's staff can be pretty.

11. Being Christian is cool.

12. Being Catholic is cool.

13. I can't sing well.

14. I can't sing.

15. I try to sing.

16. Baby girls can be absolutely annoying one minute, and absolutely adorable the next.

17. Form 4 girls aren't what they used to seem to be.

18. College girls aren't what they're all made out to be. (well, most aren't, anyway...)

19. Working ladies don't necessarily wear black short skirts.

20. People who listen aren't usually listened to.

21. Making a list like this can be actually quite fun, even with the knowledge that no one might bother to read it at all.

22. Trying to kick the habit of spending long periods of time in the toilet/bathroom isn't easy - relative to trying to quit smoking.

23. Traditional and customary Chinese wedding ceremonies can be long-drawn and tediously complicated.

24. No one lives forever. Making the best of whatever time I have with loved ones is what I strive to do each day.

25. Saying sorry is an extremely arduous task, especially for one who has an ego the size of a hot-air balloon. But the peace gained after doing so is immense.

26. God is merciful and kind.

27. I love Jesus.

28. I love Him a lot.

29. He loves me a lot too.

Update:
30. And He loves the whole world a lot too. And that's the kind of news the whole world should really be grateful about.

**No. 30 copie-...I mean, taken from life+God=true bliss**

The Ultimate Star Wars Personality Test

Here's a link to the Ultimate Star Wars Personality Test:
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/starwars_quiz.asp

And here's what I ended up with:

Chris Tomlin - Indescribable

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of Fall to the fragrance of Spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings, all exclaiming:

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing, God
All powerful, untameable
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the Sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night, none can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing, God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same
You are amazing, God
You are amazing, God

T.G.F. Fridays - Thank God For Fridays

Apart from it signalling the coming of the weekend (no class for 2 1/2 days, rejoice and be glad), Friday is that time of the week when we Lifeline CKK members meet up for our weekly cell group gathering.

It's the time of the week I get to join peers - and old men alike - in being most vulnerable to God's presence as we sing praises to Him and glorify His Name, allowing Him to speak and minister to us through praise and worship.

It's the time of the week I get to engage in lively discussion about the real essence of my being: God the Father who created us out of the immense and unconditional Love He has.

**For those who were thinking along the lines of Biology Form 3 Chapter 1 - Sexual Reproduction, shame on you!**

It's the time of the week I get to see a certain dignified and learned seminarian go "wild" and try his hand (or rather, feet) at ice-skating (and falling badly in the process) during Fun Nights.

And more importantly, it's the time of the week I get to learn more about my faith and grow into a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God at the same time.

Which is, I believe, the main purpose of the very existence of Christian communities, be it covenant communities, BECs, CFs, Lifeline or any ministry at all.

It is as a community where we get to fulfil the purposes of the church:

a) Worship
- Worshipping God is about having a real relationship with Him, a relationship that goes beyond the four walls of church on Sundays, Christmases and Easters. It's about having a lifestyle that is constantly an expression of love and devotion to Him. In community life, we learn how to adopt that lifestyle, and the praise and worship session that we have is only an extension of that on-going walk we have with Christ, where we declare our heartfelt adoration and praise for Him.

b) Ministry
- Being in a community, members learn to be more Christ-like by reaching out to others; serving them just as Christ did 2000 years ago. God-given talents and giftings are allowed to be discovered and then properly developed to full potential as we give back to Him what He gave to us.

c) Proclamation
- Jesus' Great Commission, to "Go therefore, and make disciples of all the nations..." should constantly be in our hearts and minds as we go about living our daily lives. As Fr O.C. has pointedly pointed out so many times before (especially of us Catholics), we more often than not don't live the Great Commission, but rather, the Great Omission. Being a Christian, I know that God does indeed love me and I'm thankful and overjoyed for His love. It should hence naturally occur to me that I want to tell others how God loves me so that they can share in that wonderful love as well. A good community is one which constantly grows and then multiplies, enabling it to reach out to more and more people as they are invited to enjoy and savour God's beautiful love.

d) Fellowship
- Sharing the same spiritual "DNA" through baptism, we need to move beyond the hi and bye and sigh in church and actually become friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. A community allows us to "get to know" each other better - about each other's personal relationship with God, life struggles, dreams and aspirations, etc; and help each other grow closer to Him over fun, food and games.

e) Discipleship
- A lot of us seem to think that learning how to be Catholic ends after "graduating" from Confirmation class. It obviously doesn't, and we often fail to understand that the call to follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ is a lifelong one. We are given that chance to learn so much more about our faith in a healthy community, where we can ask all those "silly" questions about the faith and sound "foolish", without actually making (too much of) a fool of ourselves. A community also enables the sharing of struggles and requests for prayers, something which we normally wouldn't have in church.

******************

Even during the apostles' time, Christians belonged to communities:

"When they entered the city they went to the upper room where they were staying, Peter and John and James and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James son of Alphaeus, Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James. All these devoted themselves with one accord to prayer, together with some women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers."
-- Acts 1:13-14

"Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple area and to breaking bread in their homes. They ate their meals with exultation and sincerity of heart, praising God and enjoying favour with all the people. And every day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved."
-- Acts 2:46-47

"The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common...there was no needy person among them, for those who owned property or houses would sell them, bring the proceeds of the sale, and put them at the feet of the apostles, and they were distributed to each according to need."
-- Acts 4:32-35

But of course, the initial process of getting hooked up with a community in itself can be a challenge.

After being "recruited" by the Lifeline SFX Recruitment Drive at the beginning of last year, I went for my first Lifeline meeting with high hopes, having been given the impression by the testimonies in church that the people there were extremely friendly and would only stop short of feeding you grapes as you sat by the wayside.

Man, did I feel out of place.

Being alone in the presence of so many strangers with no familiar face in sight can be a very trying experience, especially when you are an extremely shy person. And having entered the room 10 minutes into the meeting, when the speaker was already in the middle of her session, the friendly people around me couldn't exactly welcome me with open arms, and I guess all Ignatius (one of the Tai Kors in Lifeline) could do was usher me in and get me a seat. I believe my immediate thoughts were then to excuse myself that I'd entered the wrong room, leave and never come back. But I remember I decided to stay on anyway, as the speaker was at that time talking about love and relationships (Valentine's Day was just round the corner), and heck, who couldn't use a few tips at the dating game, eh?

After the session - after the customary exchanges of peace and hugs and whatever you - when everyone else was mingling and talking and stuff, I was about to leave when Ignatius again approached me, introduced himself and asked me to fill in the newcomers' form.

The reply that popped into mind was, "No, you don't understand, I'm NOT coming back!", but being super shy and not wanting to hurt his feelings and all, I said something along the lines of "Cool!".

Even the introduction to sweet ol' Anne Yong, who could kill a yak from 200 yards away with her dimpled smile didn't do me much good - I still felt as lost as ever. I left SFX that night doubting if I'd ever return for another such meeting.

**I believe there's a common (yet quite wrong) mentality that when you are new to a group, the old and existing members owe it to you to come and mingle with you and make you feel comfortable; sort of like you're doing them a favour by being present at the meeting, and if they don't, they don't appreciate your presence and you should never go back. At that point in time, I took that mentality quite seriously and just sat around looking forlorn, fidgeting with my handphone - pressing 1, 2, 3, *clear*, *clear*, *clear*, Menu, Up, Down, Cancel, Lock Phone, Unlock Phone, Lock Phone - to look busy.**

But for some reason or another, I felt drawn to the meeting - the same feeling which I have always had with all God-centred gatherings. I think there's something very appealing about a group of young people coming together with a common objective (apart from the ladies' appeal, that is) - to worship God and learn more about Him. It was as if the Lord was compelling me to return.

So I returned.

Got to meet a few more people and found the topic discussed enlightening.

And returned.

Got to meet a few more people and found that I now knew more about my faith, even if it was just a tad more.

And returned.

Got to meet even more people and found that I had the desire to know even more about God.

And here I am today, thanking God for Fridays and looking forward to the next cell group meeting this Friday.

Whoever said taking up the cross and following Jesus was easy?

But the rewards are very, very great indeed.

Praise God.


**Some excerpts taken from SFX Potter & Clay Manual and Real-Life Worship by Phil Connew.**

The Sacrament Of Reconciliation.

These 4 words alone - although part and parcel of the Catholic church - often strikes fear deep in the hearts of even the bravest, macho-est men.

And women.

Why so?

I believe that apart from death, heights, slimy worms, and lawyers, a lot of us fear the most having to cough out our deepest, darkest wrongdoings in the presence of another human being.

In other words, being afraid of being looked down upon by other members of society.

In other words, putting our pride above other things.

More often than not, on top of God.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation I feel gives me that chance to really humble myself before God the Father who sees all things, even sins; by acknowledging my sinning ways and confessing my most personal failings, of which I would rather die first than have another person know.

For those not in the know, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is a sacred ritual in the Catholic church where a person confesses his/her sins to God through a representative of His (usually a priest), and the sins are absolved.

Which then leads to the mandatory question:

Why confess your sins to a priest when you can commune with God directly?

The Bible - the Word of God - points out that Christ intended for us to seek forgiveness this way:

"...confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed"
-- James 5:16

...which clearly indicates confession to another person, and who better to confess to than a priest?

And,

"...they (the crowds) were struck with awe and glorified God who had given such authority to human beings."
-- Matthew 9:8

...which shows that God does indeed give a certain amount of authority to a certain amount of people for His greater glory, in this case His representative.

AND, to throw in one more,

"...he (Jesus) breathed on them (the apostles) and said to them, 'Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained'"
-- John 20:22

...in the words of Joanna Bogle, how could the apostles announce that sins are to be forgiven if they had no idea what people's sins were? How would there be forgiveness if sins went unmentioned?

******************

I used to really freak out when that time of the year came; when they announced in the SFX Diary that penitential services would be upcoming at a so-and-so place and a so-and-so time.

When I was young(er) - and dashing (still am) - I would conveniently “fall asleep” at home just before the service itself, in the hope that my family would leave for confession without me only for my dad to exclaim on the way to church: "Oh dear me, we left Aaron at home! Too late to turn back now, though. Oh well."

Fat hope.

They came to wake me up.

I even tried faking illness a few times: lamely belting out a few coughs here and there, with a sneeze thrown in for good measure; having "diarrhoea" when all I was doing was reading newspapers on the loo.

**Admittedly though, it worked, and I felt extremely guilty after that for having taken advantage of my grandparents' affinity for their grandchildren.**

These methods, of course, wore out after awhile, and I had to grudgingly follow my family for confession with severe palpitations of the heart.

This "grudginess" continued until I went for the Peninsular Malaysia Catholic Charismatic Convention '03, where I bumped into my uncle who was there as well. We were talking about family, what he'd been up to and the weather, when suddenly for no apparent reason (be it divine guidance) he mentioned something about him going for this talk after which he found no reason NOT to fear going for confession.

Strange as it may seem - he didn't have to describe the talk, or what the speaker had said, or even give me his life-changing testimony - just the casual mention that he went for the talk got me thinking: why was I terrified about going for confession?

I couldn't come up with a good answer.

That incident, coupled with my becoming affiliated with Lifeline and hence “getting excited about God" has changed my outlook on confession: since then, I have approached penitential services with almost zealousness, even being the one to tell my family - and remind them - about upcoming services.

I haven't got to the stage where I go for confession on a weekly basis (as the Pope does), but I now go for confession with renewed confidence (and the necessary nervousness of course), knowing that the cleansing it provides is essential for my spiritual growth, after having found it difficult - and in a way hypocritical - for me to serve the Lord with some nagging sins at the back of my mind.

After all, it's nearly impossible for the priest to remember exactly what you did after hearing out a hundred other people.

And, there's the (unhelpful) assurance that the priest cannot remember your sins due to the divine nature of the forgiveness.

Sure he can't.

(Not) Being A Witness To Christ.

27/1/05.

Thursday.

The day.

The day I held aloft my magic sword and said, "By the power of Greyskull!".

Nah.

The day I went for ballet classes and learnt to play lacrosse.

You wish.

It was the day I officially got my A-Level AS examination results.

To be honest, I really wasn't expecting much, all the while secretly hoping that by the grace of our good God, the unofficial results which had been given to me 3 days earlier were another person's, and that I had actually scored much better grades.

Or that the examiners messed up big time and had given me straight A's.

Or that I'd actually done well for once, but was oblivious to that fact due to the stress and fatigue of hard work. (when I say hard work, I mean more than an hour's worth of study)

And then I officially opened the envelope.

As I pulled the statement of results out of the envelope, I held shut my eyes, hoping that all that I had hoped for (as stated above) would come true as soon as I had turned the paper from back to front, and I would end up crying tears of joy.

And I did.

Turn the paper from back to front, I mean.

And then I found out:

My unofficial results were official.

Which, well:

a) weren't exactly flying colours

b) wasn't exactly a flying colour (red)

Then what on earth am I being so whiny about?

The fact that I haven't been a witness to Christ in my studies.

After getting my official results, I spent the next few days reflecting over what I'd done during the course of the previous year - during my previous 2 semesters - and realised how miserably I'd failed being Christian in my (home)work.

I was Christian in most of the other areas of my life; yes, I went to church regularly, I helped out with mass, I played guitar for meetings, I prayed whenever I could, I helped people in need, I served, I forgave, I loved. And I did all these with joy.

BUT.

I just didn't study.

I didn't finish (do) my homework; I couldn't understand half of what the teacher was explaining in class (in some cases, all); I was sleeping through half the classes (in some cases, all); my monthly tests produced horrible results, etc...

In fact, I was the butt of most of my friends' jokes due to the reasons stated above (still am, actually). A lot of them really put me down before I got my results, thinking that they would, of course, get much higher than yours truly - the guy who never did work, who always slept in class, who always came late...

When, in fact, most of them DID get much higher than me.

1 or 2, however, didn't but that's another story.

This goes to show how un-Christian I've been in class.

I seriously doubt any of my classmates saw Christ in me in my studies over the past year.

Thus, I'm posting this, sort of like a live, online vow for me to buck up in my studies, to excel in my studies, to be Christ-like in my studies.

Hmmm.

Which raises an interesting question.

Did Christ have to study in times of old?